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Ask anyone who’s organised a funeral what the hardest part was, and it’s rarely the paperwork. It’s the guessing. Would she want a hymn? Burial or cremation? Did he actually love that song, or just put up with it for 40 years? Every wish you write down is one less question for someone you love, on a day when they’d really rather not answer it.
The good news? It doesn’t take long, and it’s more fun than you’d think. Here’s the checklist, and next to every item, the part of your Twentyfive Card it lives in. Do one now, do the rest whenever, and change your mind as often as you like.
The big decisions
The ones people most often wish they’d been told. All of these sit in Funeral Wishes on your card.
Burial, cremation or something greener. The first thing a funeral director will ask.
The style of the day. Religious, not religious, a full-blown celebration of life, or no preference.
Who leads it. A vicar, a celebrant, or a friend who’s good with a crowd.
The coffin, urn or headstone. Plain and simple, or the one with a bit of personality.
The bits that make it yours
The details people remember long after the day.
Your songs. The walk in, the quiet moment, the walk out, each with a note on why it made the cut. On your card: Songs. How to pick them.
What everyone wears. A sea of black, a riot of colour, or the team shirt. On your card: Funeral Wishes. More on dress codes.
Your wake. The pub, the garden, the beach. On your card: Wake Location. What makes a good wake.
Your epitaph. The line you’d want people to remember you by. On your card: Epitaph.
A charity. Somewhere for people to give in your name, instead of flowers. On your card: Charity.
The little extras. The poem, the reading, the fish finger sandwiches, the request only you would make. On your card: Requests.
The people
Wishes only work if the right people know them.
Your gatekeepers. The people you trust to look after your wishes and your story, with no limit on how many. On your card: Gatekeepers. What makes a good gatekeeper.
Your pallbearers. The people you’d want beside you. Add their names as a request. On your card: Requests. More on pallbearers.
Who should hear first. The friends who shouldn’t find out from a group chat. On your card: Requests.
Where Twentyfive fits
Here’s the thing about a checklist: it’s only useful if someone can find it. A note in a drawer gets lost. A chat in the car gets half-remembered. Your Twentyfive Card keeps every item on this list in one place, on your phone, with the people you’ve chosen looking after it.
Twentyfive is built for exactly this. Your funeral wishes and wake sit together. Your songs come with the reasons why. Your epitaph, your charity and your one-of-a-kind requests are all there, ready to share with the people who matter, and private from everyone else. And when life changes, as it will, you update your card in a minute. No old copies to hunt down and bin.
Best of all, it doesn’t feel like admin. It feels like you. That’s the point.
Quick answers
What should be in a funeral wishes checklist?
The type of funeral, the style of service, who leads it, the music, the dress code, the wake, and the people who need to know your wishes.
Are funeral wishes legally binding? Usually not on their own, but writing them down makes them far easier to follow. A will and a letter of wishes can help too.
When should I write down my funeral wishes? Any time. Most people find it easier when nothing’s urgent, then update it as life changes.
