Moving in together: the unromantic checklist

Moving in together is one of the best bits of life. Your names on the same post. A shared fridge. Someone to argue with about the thermostat for, hopefully, decades. It’s genuinely brilliant.

It also comes with a pile of admin nobody puts on the moving-day Instagram. So here it is, the unromantic checklist. Get through it once, and you can go back to the fun bit: deciding where the telly goes.

The money chat

Yes, it’s awkward. Do it anyway, ideally before the first bill lands.

Who pays for what. Split it down the middle, split it by income, or have a joint account for the bills. Whatever feels fair to you both.
The joint account question. Some couples love one. Some keep everything separate. Both work, as long as you’ve talked about it.
The big costs. Rent or mortgage, council tax, energy, broadband, insurance, the streaming services you’ll both forget you’re paying for.

The paperwork

Put both names on the tenancy or the deeds, if you’re both paying in. It matters more than it sounds.
Buying together? There are two main ways to own a home jointly in England and Wales. As joint tenants, you own it all together, and if one of you dies, the other automatically gets the lot. As tenants in common, you each own a share, which you can leave to whoever you choose. A solicitor or conveyancer can explain which suits you.
Tell the council about the new address, and check whether a single person discount on council tax still applies. (Spoiler: once there are two of you, it doesn’t.) In Northern Ireland it’s domestic rates rather than council tax, so let Land & Property Services know instead.
Update your address with the bank, your doctor, your employer and the DVLA.
Contents insurance. One policy for both of you, covering both lots of stuff.

The myth worth knowing about

Here’s one that surprises a lot of couples. In England and Wales, there’s no such thing as a “common law marriage”. Living together, even for years, doesn’t give you the same rights as being married or in a civil partnership. If one of you dies without a will, the other doesn’t automatically inherit.

It’s not the cosiest thing to think about while you’re building a bookcase. But it’s why plenty of couples write a will when they move in together, rather than waiting.

Scotland and Northern Ireland

The rules aren’t quite the same everywhere in the UK, but the headline is. Living together doesn’t automatically give you a share of each other’s estate.

Scotland. If your partner dies without a will, you don’t automatically inherit. But Scottish law does give cohabiting couples a safety net: you can ask a court for a share of the estate, as long as you apply within six months of the death. Buying a home works a little differently too, so ask a solicitor how you’d each own it.
Northern Ireland. If your partner dies without a will, you don’t automatically inherit. In some circumstances you can ask a court for provision from the estate, but there’s no automatic right. Joint tenants work as they do in England and Wales: if you own your home that way, the survivor gets it, whatever the will says.

Wherever you live, a will puts you in charge of what happens next, rather than leaving it to a court.

The house rules

The really important stuff:

Which side of the bed is whose.
Whether shoes come off at the door.
How many cushions is too many cushions.
Who’s in charge of the bins, and whether “I forgot” is a valid excuse.
The spare key. Who has one, and whether your mum is allowed to just pop in.

The big chats

While you’re in a planning mood, there are a few bigger conversations that come up sooner or later. You don’t have to settle them now, but it’s nice to know where each of you stands:

What do you both want the next five years to look like?
What’s on each of your bucket lists, and which ones could you do together?
If something happened to one of you, who would you want the other to call?

Where Twentyfive fits

You’re building a life together. So build your Twentyfive Card while you’re at it. It’s the one place for everything that makes you, you: your bucket list, your songs, your epitaph, the people who matter. Tag each other on the bucket list items you want to do together, and tick them off as you go. Choose your gatekeepers, the people you trust to share your wishes one day. You only share what you want to, with who you want to.

It’s the least unromantic thing on this list. We promise.

Quick answers

Now, about those cushions.